Okay, I have been pretty self indulgent the last few days, and my darling hubby has allowed, and even encouraged it!! Thanks dear! I have felt the need to grieve, whine, mope, fret, and indulge myself shamelessly the last few days, but I am over it and ready to move on, I think! Friday I did a shout out to some other adoptive moms and we go together at Panera for some food and lots of support, with coffee and cookies it does not get better, I swear!! The girls are the best, Kate is new, so it is very exciting and fun to talk to her about her future baby, and their hopes, and plans, a family in the making! Amanda has had her little girl home just a year, "Happy Famiversary!!!!", so talking to her about toddlers, tantrums, travel and all the other fun to come is always great, and she is so darn funny it completely cracks me up. She is so sweet even though she felt like turd she came because I was so pathetic, what friends I have, thanks guys. Talking to them made up for the crappy Thursday and Friday, but I still felt the need to indulge on Saturday, with ice cream at Friendly's, and tonight I just spent an entire hour surfing friends blogs and catching up on what they are up to, so many cool things it seems I have missed!! Julianna even go tin on indulging mommy, last night I used my foot bath and she then dried and rubbed my feet with lotion, very nice, and tonight she played in her room happily for the hour I was surfing, and did not make a huge mess either, so huge bonus!!
So here is the unofficial update.scoop on us and our dilemma, Citizen and Immigration Services has an update for us, and they need to approve it, and send it to the Nat'l Visa Center. They in turn need to send it via diplomatic mail(apparently very special stuff! hand carried maybe?!?) to the Embassy in Ethiopia. The CIS has 45 days to process this update, but we have very nicely informed our congressmen, senators, state reps, and the governor that 45 days is way too long for a simple approval, and could they please find time in their busy schedules to urge the CIS to move us along. From the it is off to the NVC, then it goes on a 3 week(or more) trip to the Embassy, where it is added into our other paperwork, and then we can get a travel date, with like a weeks notice to fly. This is alarming, since that date could be 3-6 weeks away, and I have no idea which side of that it will fall on!!
Do you now see the need for a self indulgent weekend. As soon as the kids were almost in my hands they were pushed away again, it was becoming so real, and now it has gone back to being somewhat surreal, like they will be home sometime, not sure when. I have tried to come up with an analogy to help others understand what this feels like, but nothing really explains it, you have to have felt this, to really get the pain, the longing, and the constant frustration and clock-wound- too-tight feeling I have all the time. A part of me is always with Julianna, and part is with Jon, now 2 parts of me are watching over my babies 1/2 a world away, leaving me with very little me to utilize in my every day life. I have to really concentrate to get simple things done, and I have started taking notes of things that need doing at work because I will not remember them a few minutes later. I have very few resources left to draw on, this is taking a far greater toll than I had thought it would, so recharging me this weekend was a very nice and necessary respite, and having an impromptu foot rub while watching Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium wasn't half bad either:)
Apparently this wait is also taking a toll on my ability to write a grammatically correct sentence, and type or punctuate correctly, I have just spent 5 minutes fixing my errors!! I must go now, my bed is calling and it is very demanding, and I have not been sleeping well, so I am off to try to sleep through the night without any wakeful hours, love and hugs to all, and please remember our babies in your prayers, Jamie
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